You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

This is the latest London-set Woody Allen film, following his usual themes of love, relationships, insecurity and fate. Its an ensemble piece with a terrific cast - so Gemma Jones consults a mystic (Pauline Collins)  to help her deal with her husband, Anthony Hopkins, leaving her. He is meanwhile about to re-marry a much younger "actress" (Lucy Punch). Meanwhile their daughter (Naomi Watts) is struggling in her marriage and has a crush on her boss (Antonio Banderas), whist her writer husband (Josh Brolin) sits at home lusting after the woman in the flat opposite (Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto). And that's before Anna Friel, Ewan Bremner, Celia Imrie and Philip Gleinster all come and go.

Allen's London films (of which this is the fourth) have so far produced one decent one (Match Point) and two absolute turkeys. This isn't quite as bad as that and has some redeeming moments, but its a messy affair that falls a long way short of Vicky Christina Barcelona, let alone his genuine classics, and confirms that Allen is going through something a lean spell at the moment. There are two rules which seem to determine the characters - the older ones seem better written than the younger ones and the men better written than the women. So Jones  manages to be almost decent (even if they are playing rather stereotyped caricatures) and Brolin and Hopkins have the most fleshed out characters, whilst Watts has moments but also some bits which clang dreadfully (not sure if its the script or the strain of the British accent), but Punch struggles with a lazy cliche of a gold-digger and poor Pinto has to try (and utterly fails) to bring any credibility to what is essentially an Allen fantasy - the young, intelligent, attractive woman who ia actually attracted by the older loser perving on her at every opportunity.

The tone veers sharply between broad comedy and pseudo-profundity and attempted pathos in a way that achieves nothing successfully. The ruminations on fate and the twists and turns and downfall of plans are painted with a blunt instrument rather than a deft hand and a light touch. And yet there are moments which suggest that this could have been much better and which show the talent that Allen still possesses. Like the moment Brolin moves in with Pinto and looks back through the window the other way or Watts awkward attempts to declare her feelings to a Banderas who is doing his best not to acknowledge them.

Overall - 5.5/10 Moments of something better, but overall this is messy and confused and a long way from what Allen is capable of.